1. Introduction
Your success in life will be largely determined by your ability to speak, write and the quality of your ideas. The quality of your communication is based on your knowledge, your practice with that knowledge, and your inherent talent. These tools will help enhance your ideas.
To get your presentation ideas to be remembered, you need to have: symbol, slogan, surprise, salient (ideas) and (tell a) story
2. Body Language
70% of communication is body language. Practice and get familiar with your facial movements.
Eyebrow raise from distance and head tilt signifies friendliness.
If you’re trying to read someone else’s body language, you obviously need to look for clusters of things you can’t conclude things based on outliers. But with mixed, negative ones are more accurate. Watch others carefully when you speak, and when they speak. 2 whole different ball games. Mirror people to empathize
Open or closed body, crossed arms etc determine their openness. And their feet direction.
Confidence
Posture is a success barometer.
Don’t do trivial things like scratch, rub or hands on face. Fidgeting like this undermines credibility. Standing wide and taking up space shows confidence
Emotions are transferred so project happiness and confidence (probably why we want to be around certain people).
Arms behind back=power, authority.
Hands on hips=dominance, authority.
Hiding hands creates negative impression.
Smiling releases endorphins in you and others, it is catchy. But you still want to be tactful with them. Like a compliment they can be more valuable when used less often. Withhold until someone earns it. A study showed that women who smiled too quickly didn’t succeed as much in the corporate world. Smiles can project strong character.
Eyes. Project strong character with direct gaze. 80/20 balance. Women feel more valued with strong eye contact. Limit it with men. Practice by looking every person in the eye walking down the street. Challenge yourself to not be the first to look away.
3. Confidence
Social anxiety is self-absorption. People aren’t obsessed with you and constantly thinking about you the way you do. They are in their own heads just like you. Focus on other people instead of yourself it will also make you happier as well as confident.
The more groups and hierarchies you’re a part of, the less you’ll care about where you are in them and how others view you. And that healthy nonchalance will probably raise you up.
When insulted, agree and amplify
Mental rehearsal, as much sensory correlation as possible.
Really need to do boxing or get back into something.
To be more articulate, read and write more. Practice explaining more. Adopt go to phrases like “notice” and “did you catch that?” or “wojamacallit.” Work on vocabulary.
Be someone you respect. Confidence is also about how you view yourself. Take all the admirable qualities you see in others and embody them.
Perceived Social Status. People subconsciously value people with these factors: appearance (posture-take up more space and fake confidence until you have it, muscles, height, clean, hairstyle) and wealth status. Also on how you stand move and talk. People are more trusting of lower pitch voices. You can make others appreciate you more by making yourself less available.
4. Building Rapport
Friendship= proximity + duration + frequency + intensity.
Make people feel good
Ø Do this by showing your care, empathy and interest. This is done multiple ways such as listening intently and remembering their stories and names.
Ø People have strong desire to feel important, give it to them. Find out what makes them feel important (think of those in your life who base their whole existence around something, what do they think makes them valuable?)
Ø Find characteristics of theirs to admire.
Ø Treat everyone like they are Jesus.
Ø Find out what makes them tick, what pressure their under, what interests their protecting.
Ø Put yourself in their shoes internally or aloud "that must be...".
5. Good Conversations
Starting
Ø Start with whatever you want as long as it puts people at ease and sounds passionate.
Ø Small talk isn’t about facts or words, it’s a dance. Match them in tone, mood everything possible. It’s customary to start with small talk so you can then go deeper. People think its cool to deride the idea of small talk because they are so deep. But they do not live this out because you would look like me who randomly asks people deep questions.
Ø Convince them you are alike with cliches and unoriginal things. 80% of a listeners impression comes from mood and delivery not the words.
Ø Use prompts that briefly talk about yourself and give them a chance to talk about themselves 'this reminded me of'
Ø Have a ‘what’s it’. Something that will attract questions and conversation. If someone wants to talk to someone, they will scrounge for an excuse.
Ø Don’t start negatively (complaints, rudeness). Absorb comments of pessimists “yeah there’s room for improvement.”
Ø Eavesdrop your way into a conversation, they will only be taken aback momentarily.
Ø Don’t ask what they do, you need to figure it out. “How do you spend your time?”
Keeping it going
Ø Non-sequitur comments. Drew’s “isn’t it crazy??”
Ø Have prepared responses for common questions.
Ø Focus on relatable aspects of yourself so they can chime in.
Ø Work off what they give you “I’m great” “what’s so great?”
Ø Make assumptions based on observations then let them affirm or correct.
Ø “This reminds me of” “What’s your story?” “any exciting plans?”
Ø Be able to branch to different topics easily.
Ø Humor (exaggeration, misdirection, playing on double meaning, throwback, teasing, sarcasm, puns, role-playing)
Ø If possible, don’t make the conversation the focus, try to be doing something else.
Ø Make silence comfortable.
Ø Keep up with the news.
Ø Before you speak, restate thoughts and feelings of last speaker
Getting Deeper
Ø You have to be authentic and real and self-aware. Don’t use a persona that’s better than who you are.
Ø To get people to open up, reduce your filter. Ideally, saying something strange will show you don’t care what society thinks. Needs to be very balanced and subtle however, not boring or outrageous. Polarizing and honest makes you interesting, share the strong opinions at the right time. The more your perceived value is, the crazier you can be. Joe Rogan’s great concise description of things. "I don’t like sadness in the form of entertainment."
Ø "Got any particular stories from that time?”
Ø Remember to amuse yourself, exchange of truth is curative.
Ø Try to walk away better than before, try to learn something from them that is still practical to you.
Ø Open ended questions that induce expansion then also ask why and why to keep drilling down to motivations.
Ø Take time to answer, practice controlling prosody.
Ø Part of someone doesn’t mature from that point of trauma. More meaningful convos lead to increased happiness and wellbeing. 18 medical studies show people in strong social networks more predisposed to longevity and faster healing.
Ø Voice your thoughts to get perspective.
Ø Promote trust and clarity say what you do and do what you say. Trust is asset with unlimited return.
Ø Build strong relationships by avoiding facts like job, school, drama. Seek emotion. How you felt when you failed/succeeded, regrets? Loves? Dreams? Stories? It may prompt them to share something too.
Ø Don’t get into interview mode, ask questions but also share about yourself.
Ø Get out of difficult convo by dropping agenda, validate their concerns, create their list of complaints and start with the last one. Make them tell you why they feel that way.
6. Correcting Someone
Use a challenge to motivate others.
Negativity sandwich. Offer praise before critique. Make their fault seem easy to rectify. Bring up their mistakes indirectly.
Give them a good reputation to live up to (self-fulfilling prophecy).
7. Public Speaking
Don’t start with a joke but a promise. (I would also do a joke).
Cycle around the topic. Keep restating it.
Express your ideas in a dramatic way “People don’t realize the solution!”
Build a fence around the idea for clarity. State what it is and isn’t.
Verbal punctuation to call people who tune out back to attention.
Ask a question, wait 7 seconds.
Inspire audiences by having passion.
We are story telling animals. Teach people how to think by providing them with the stories that they need to know and the questions that they need to ask about these stories, and the mechanism to analyze these stories, the ways to put together stories, the ways to evaluate reliable stories.
Express your vision and state what you’ve done in 5 mins
Best time is 11am and not right after a meal.
Case out the location to anticipate anything. Well lit. Reasonably populated.
Practice with someone completely unfamiliar with the content.
Tools
Ø Boars, props and slides are memorable and help teach abstract things.
Ø Tools keep your hands busy
Ø Boards and props are great because empathic mirroring, i.e. audiences can feel they are doing the writing and demonstration.
Ø Not too many pages or words, slides are the condiment not the main event.
Ø Don’t make audience play eye tennis.
8. Sources
· Thepowermoves.com
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